I am Rikimaru; I am Shadow

Writer, Poet, Social Commentator


One of the main reasons for my getting into trouble with my mum, as a child, was sleep. I am not referring to sleeping on the bed at nighttime or anything like that. It was a peculiarly weird kind. I loved sleeping in moving vehicles.

I don’t know about you but when I want to sleep, I sleep. It doesn’t matter when, where or how and I don’t even need to think about it. Some people spend time counting sheep before they fall asleep. Others think about loved ones then slowly but surely, drift into the great beyond. Me? I just sleep; no thoughts, no preamble, I just get right to it.

I could be right in the middle of World War Z, with myriads of flesh-eating zombies running towards me and I’d just sleep.

So I had a big phobia for driving. I was well aware that while driving, I will not be warned; there will be no dizzy eyes or lazy swerving that warn me that I am about to sleep. It really got me thinking, particularly after I witnessed some ghastly accidents that were caused by sleeping drivers.

So, I developed some tricks…


This is a no-brainer.

When driving home at night or at anytime when you feel tired, get some company. The more the merrier. They keep you alert and awake. If you don’t have friends, give a random person a lift (live on the coke side of life yeah?). Find some stranded people and help them out. Their thanks throughout the ride will not only soothe your heart but also keep you awake and save your life.

Note, the crazier the company the better. *Winks*



Yes good old music. Do not and I repeat do not play your favourite “80 Old School Blues” CD or whatever other slow song collections those Alaba boys come up with these days. You might as well just take sleeping pills and drive.

Try some rock… and nod your head ‘agama style’ to the beat. It will get your blood pumping, keep you heart running and your eyes wide open; giving you some much-needed exercise and saving your life in more ways than one.



People say its difficult to make friends. Let me disagree. You can make friends while driving. It’s easy!

When you are approaching a vehicle, slow down side by side with the vehicle, whilst nodding your head ‘agama style’ and when you have gained their attention, wave frantically. Chances are you will get ignored or regarded as weird. But there is the real chance that you might amuse the other person.

What will ensue will be a jolly ride full of overtaking and being overtaken in between several waving and smiles. If you are lucky enough to make several friends then the constant neck turning will really get you pumped up and alert.



Like I said earlier, in your attempt to make friends, you might get ignored or worse, the other motorists might think you are weird.

Chase them!

Go right after them and do not give up until they give you a thumb up or a smile. Who gives up when chasing something? If you want it you go right after it. Don’t forget to keep the ‘agama style’ going while at it.

Nothing like a good race to keep you awake.



My personal favourite; I mean who likes to be on a queue? 

If you have the ill luck of driving with heavy eyes in ‘go-slow’ traffic, this will help jolt you up. 

Leave the queue, drive forward and them attempt to get back in the line. Please do well to pick a car driven by a woman as your entry point.

Trust me, the rain of abuses and insults that will land on your head will be a good wake up call as to the reason why there was a long queue in the first place. (nothing against women :D)

If at the end none of these work for you, you can park your car and sleep because chances are that you will sleep anyway.


  1. Jimoh Adenike
    September 17, 2013

    Buhahaha!! My teeth was out all through! My personal fav is No. 4, makes the journey less boring. I avoid 5 cos of LASTMA. They are just rooted in funny places you don’t see them. Thanks for the humor. Was seriously needed.


  2. Ayette
    September 19, 2013

    Oh my!
    The last two are the funniest
    …but if anyone chases me at night nodding like an agama lizard I’d probably cry …
    I’m gonna try it though


    • Rikimaru Tenchu
      September 19, 2013

      LOL, when chasing someone, be sure to pick on someone your own size.


  3. Adaeze
    July 12, 2015

    I love this post! Especially the chasing the driving part.


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This entry was posted on September 17, 2013 by in Commentary, Musings and tagged , .


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